Childhood Memories
by MakeMeFree
Summary: Ren is beginning to remember his childhood, and it is having severe negative effects on his mind. As Ren begins to regress to the stage when Haru first met him, can his brothers help him to overcome his fears and past? [Fluffy]
1. Encounter

Ren walked quietly down the sidewalk of the market district, hands tucked into his pockets, and head hanging a bit. He hated walking around this place; too many people, too much noise. He felt Haru beside him, and Aki and Shima not far behind. The eldest brother had told them all that they would spend a day here, shopping for new clothes for winter, which was fast approaching. As the four brothers walked, other people tended to walk in between them, simply trying to reach their destination, and not allowing a small group of boys to hinder their journey.

"Do you guys have any preferences for stores?" Ren heard Haru ask, earning noncommittal responses from both Aki and Shima.

"Nah, anywhere is fine, bro." Aki replied, hands clasped behind his head as he walked alongside Shima. Ren remained silent, his brown eyes cast down to the sidewalk. He listened to his elder brothers discuss where to go, trying to focus on their conversation instead of the multitude of people around him. Unease ate away at Ren's nerves as the mass of people walking down the street grew, the entire area seeming to be alive with conversation. For a moment, Ren felt disconnected from his surroundings, his heartbeat accelerating almost painfully.

"Haru," he turned to where his green-eyed brother had been beside him. Immediately, the youngest felt fear wash over him. He stopped walking, standing completely still while people walked around him.

"Haru?" he called a little louder, feeling panic rise inside of him. He looked around, trying to spot Haru, or Aki and Shima.

"Aki? Shima?" he called out, his hands shaking. His thoughts raced, telling his body to run, to get out of there and find his brothers. Shoulders trembling, Ren clenched his fists at his sides and quickly walked through the crowd, terror still rising in him. He began to lose focus on where he was going, all the stimulation causing his head to spin and his mind to be a jumbled mess of nervous and fearful thoughts. People began bumping into him as he walked, a few almost knocking him down. Ren looked around frantically, seeing an opening in the ground and quickly taking the opportunity to run into the clearer spot between two shops. Only one other person stood there, a man that appeared to be waiting for someone. Without thinking, Ren stood beside the man and fished his cellphone from his pocket. He tried dialing Haru with shaking hands, putting the phone to his ear and listening to the seemingly endless ringing.

" _Ren?! Where are you?!"_ Haru's voice came frantically over the phone.

"I-I don't know," Ren's voice cracked, tears brimming in his eyes.

" _Okay, it's okay. I will be right there, don't move. Okay? Can you tell me what stores you're near?"_ Haru asked gently, trying to keep his precious little brother from crying.

"A flower store, and a cellphone store." Ren answered, his voice wavering.

" _Okay, we'll be right there. Don't move, okay?"_

"Okay." Ren heard the phone make the sound that means Haru hung up, feeling his heart beating faster once Haru's voice was gone. He slid his phone back into his pocket, looking around attentively to locate his brothers.

"Hey, are you lost?" the man that was standing beside him asked. Ren jumped at the voice, forgetting that there was someone beside him. He looked up at the man, brown eyes meeting another pair of brown eyes. The man was tall, maybe Haru's height, and had dark brown hair that almost looked black. Something about the man gave Ren a heavier sense of unease. Something about the way his eyes looked, and the way he smiled. Ren did not answer him though, simply turning back to the crowd and looking around for his brothers. Suddenly, he felt a big hand grip his arm tightly, squeezing hard.

"Hey kid, I asked you a question. Didn't your parents teach you manners?" the man demanded, his smile still plastered to his face.

"Let go." Ren replied, trying to pull away from the stranger that was holding onto him. With every attempt to move away, the man's grip tightened until Ren could feel bruises starting under his grip.

"Let me help you find your family. Come with me," the man said flatly, smiling more.

"Let me go!" Ren shouted, trying to yank his arm away from the man, who seemed to have an iron grip.

"Come, we'll find them together." The man ignored Ren's shout, pulling him off toward the alleyway between the two stores. Ren struggled against his grip, until the man threw Ren forward, his face connecting hard with the side of the flower shop. He could feel something warm and thick trailing from his nose and his forehead. When he turned around, their eyes met, though Ren's were having a difficult time focusing. A menacing look at come to the other man's eyes, his smile wide.

"I'm just trying to help you. Are you okay? You're a clumsy kid, aren't you?" he mused, reaching a hand out and placing a finger under Ren's chin, tilting his head up higher. The next thing Ren knew, the other man's face was centimeters from his own, eyes staring straight into his.

"You're a pretty cute little kid," he said quietly. Ren felt his stomach clench in fear, his body trembling. Before the man could move closer, Ren gained the courage to bring his knee up hard between the man's legs. He shouted out in pain, crumpling slowly to the floor, clutching the sensitive area that Ren had injured. Adrenaline seared through Ren's veins, causing him to sprint out of the alley and run through the crowd of people. His mind was blank, all his body could do was run. The brunette only stopped when his body collided hard with the front of another person. He fell backwards, his mind clearing enough to recognize that he was shaking hard, a feeling that he only remembered a few other times.

"Ren?" a familiar voice entered his ears, causing Ren to look up. Aki stood in front of him, his eyes wide and worried. At the sight of one of his brothers, tears streamed endlessly down Ren's bloodied face. He stood up immediately and hugged Aki, something he had never done before. He cried into Aki's shirt, gripped the back of his shirt tightly. The more temperamental of the twins reached down and picked Ren up like a small child, arms crossed under Ren's bottom. The younger hugged his brother's neck, face buried in the crook of it, unable to control his tears.

"What happened, little brother?" Aki asked, rage thick in his voice. Ren tightened his grip on Aki, squeezing him with his legs as well as his arms. Frowning, the older held Ren close, in an overprotective manner that Ren was accustomed to with Haru. As Aki quickly walked off to go to their brothers, Ren felt his mind beginning to slip away; whether into unconsciousness or sleep, he wasn't sure. The last thing he heard was Haru and Shima's voices calling his name.


	2. Unusual Attitude

All Ren could see was darkness, though he could faintly hear voices drifting through his mind. He knew it was his brothers, he could sense they were nesr him. Upon attempting to make a sound in order to alert his brothers that he was there, he felt himself grown, realizing that as he woke up, his body was beginning to feel pain. He heard Haru's voice first, calling his name almost excitedly. Then he could hear Shima, who sounded like he was instructing Haru to do something. Lastly, he heard Aki say his name, followed by a hand resting in his chest. Ren groaned again, face scrunching in pain before he blinked his eyes open. Squinting against a splitting headache, Ren saw his brothers looking down at him, Haru directly above him as his leg was serving as Ren's pillow; Aki on the floor, hand resting on Ren's stomach; and Shima leaning over the back of the couch.  
"Thank God, you're finally awake!" Haru said happily, though also loudly. Ren cringed away, moving to be closer to Aki, who now had his arm draped over Ren's stomach due to him moving.  
"I told you, it looks like he hit his head. Be quieter," Aki scowled. A puzzled look crossed Haru's face, but he nodded quickly and gently petted Ren's hair.  
"Ren?" Shima spoke softly, placing a gentle hand on his little brother's forehead. The youngest gazed up at him, eyes pained as he strained to keep them open against the headache.  
"Haru, go get him some painkillers," Shima instructed, "and Ren, can you tell us what happened? " he asked, watching Haru walk off to the kitchen.  
"A man..." Ren mumbled, his words heavy.  
"Who dared to touch my Ren?! Who was it? I swear, I'll find them," Haru growled, his ghostly green eyes ablaze with fury. Ren felt fear tug at his chest as he looked at his oldest brother, his eyes wide.  
"Do you remember what they looked like?" Haru demanded, the fury in his eyes was chilling. He leaned closer to Ren, moving his hand to give the youngest a few pills. In a slight panic, Ren sat up and bolted off the couch, standing behind the smaller couch. The other three looked at him, startled at the suddenness of his movement. The brunette sat behind the couch, peeking around the corner like a frightened dog. He was visibly shaking, eyes staring fearfully at his brothers.  
"Ren, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Haru said softly, eyes filled with concern. He moved slowly toward the cowering teenager, stopping when Ren made a small movement backward.  
"Oh my. What could've caused this?" Shima wondered aloud, adjusting his glasses and quizzically observing his eldest and youngest brothers.  
"He looked like that when I found him. And then he hugged me," Aki told Shima and Haru, earning incredulous looks from both.  
"He's only ever hugged Haru," Shima replied, still disbelieving.  
"I know, it was weird."  
"Call him," Haru said, his face expressionless. The twins shared a look, knowing that the fact Ren would not go to him was painful to Haru.  
"I doubt he'll do it again," Aki said before standing up and facing Ren.  
"Little brother," he invited gently, opening his arms. Ren looked frantically up at Aki, slowly moving his body around where Haru was standing, eyes locked on him as if he were some sort of predator. The second he was behind Haru, Ren ran and hugging onto Aki, glaring at Shima and Haru from the corner of his eye. Aki was stunned for a moment, before he wrapped his arms loosely around Ren.  
"Can you tell us what happened, Ren?" Shima asked, moving to standing beside Haru, who was pouting. Ren held tightly to Aki, but his voice portrayed no fear, it was simply monotone.  
"A man grabbed me, and threw me at a wall." He said shortly before burying his face in Aki's stomach. "Why won't you stand with me?" Haru whined, crossing his arms over his chest like a child.  
"Safe," Ren answered into Aki's shirt.  
"But Ren-," Haru vegan to protest, though was hushed by Shima.  
"Clearly, whatever happened today is making it hard to be around us. Let's just give him space and try again in a little while." The rational twin proposed. Haru pouted more, but agreed with his brother. However, the light haired Kaidou brother walked over to Aki and Ren, placing a soft kiss on Ren's head.

"I love you, Ren." Haru whispered to him, getting a small whimper and a mumbled "love you too" in return. Aki shifted uncomfortably, looking at Haru.

"What should I do?" he asked, looking for some sort of ideas as to how to handle Ren.

"I usually sit with him or lay down with him. Maybe watch tv?" Haru offered, sitting on the small couch. Aki nodded and slowly nudged Ren off him, getting him to sit on the couch. Shima sat with Haru, turning the television on with the remote.

The brothers watched television for about an hour before Ren began to fidget, tugging on the hem of his shirt. The teen sitting beside him glanced down, raising an eyebrow.

"What's up?" he asked, one arm draped over the back of the couch, the other in his lap.

"Eat," Ren replied. Ren's response made Haru stiffen in his seat, staring at his brother.

"Go find something." Shima answered calmly. The three watched Ren get up, walking between the two couches, not seeming to be as bothered by everyone's presence.

"He hasn't spoken like that since I first met him." Haru said quietly to the twins, watching Ren look through the kitchen.

"Like what?" Aki asked, not seeming to notice anything wrong.

"When I first met him, he would only use the words 'eat' and 'sleep,' he would never say anything else. It took a long time to get him to use complete sentences." Haru explained, sadly watching his precious brother. The twins turned to see Ren when Haru called out his name.

"Ren, please use chopsticks." Haru called over, seeing that Ren was eating plain soba noodles with his hands. Ren's eyes met each of his brother's in turn, no expression on his face. He stuck another noodle in his mouth with his hands before picking up a pair of chopsticks and bringing his bowl over to the couches. He looked around briefly, choosing to sit on the floor, back pressed against the couch, between Haru's legs. Aki and Shima exchanged a truly confused look, not at all matching the joy on Haru's face. Tanuki had quietly joined them, laying in Ren's lap as he ate. Haru gently played with his brother's hair, looking at his other brothers, each with one big question in their eyes.

" _What happened to Ren?"_


	3. Don't Let the Man Take Me Again

The eldest Kaidou brothers sat in the living room after Ren had left to walk Tanuki. They were quiet for a very long time before Aki spoke up.

"What do you think happened?" he asked, running his hands through his hair and massaging his temples.

"I don't know, but clearly whatever happened with some guy scared him." Haru huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the couch. Shima adjusted his glasses on his nose, looking at the floor as he thought.

"Do we know anything about his past?" Shima asked, glancing up at Haru. The blond sighed and shook his head sadly.

"Not really. He has scars on the soles of his feet from cigarette burns, but that was from the orphanage. I think Mikiko said something about his mother being a drug addict." Haru attempted to remember, green eyes somber. Aki and Shima visibly backed down, their bodies slumping as the reality of Ren's past was becoming slightly clearer.

"Do you think what happened today caused him to remember something?" Shima considered aloud, looking at each of his brothers in turn. Haru was about to speak when they all heard the door open and close, Ren walking in with Tanuki in his arms.

"Ren," Haru began, turning to see his little brother. A heaviness fell over the room, Ren's face a mix of emotions that seemed too complex for him to properly express. He looked upset, hurt, confused, and angry, though the near stoic expression on his face did not give that away; it was his eyes. They were swimming with all of these emotions, and more that Haru could not exactly pinpoint. Ren looked at the floor, silently walking to the stairs and ascending them.

"Ren!" Haru called in an attempt to get his brother to come sit with them. Said boy jumped at the sound of his name, shoulders tensing. He turned to look at Haru from the top of the stairs.

"Do you want to come sit with us?" Shima asked more gently, nudging Haru's leg to reprimand him for scaring Ren. The youngest slowly shook his head, burying his face in Tanuki's fur.

"Okay." Shima replied softly, watching Ren walk to his own bedroom and quietly shut the door. The three sighed heavily, leaning back against their couches and not saying a word.

xXxXxXxXx

Ren sat silently in the corner of his room, wedged between his desk and the wall. Tanuki was curled up against his chest like a small child, calmly watching Ren. The boy closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall.

 _A hand reached toward him, the man behind it grinning from ear to ear. He was speaking, though no words came from his mouth. Ren could almost feel his breath, hot and smelling of alcohol. He reached further toward Ren, laughing now as he attempted to grab the boy._

Ren snapped his head forward, eyes opening quickly. He was breathing hard, sweat beading on his forehead, his palms clammy.

' _I don't want to remember…'_ he thought, dropping his head into Tanuki's fur. Again he closed his eyes, but the same scene of a laughing man reaching for him caused him to sit back up. He was tired, dark circles under his eyes. His head was pounding, and his nose throbbed with a similar pain. It hurt to keep his eyes open, it hurt to touch his nose. Sighing softly, Ren looked up at the ceiling. He could tell that sleep would evade him tonight, and it was going to be a very long night. Sniffling lightly, Ren sneezed into his hand, wincing at the pain that shot through his nose.

When he moved his hand away, small droplets of blood littered his palm, and within moments he could feel the sticky and warm liquid flowing from his nose. Placing the dog on the ground, Ren stood up quickly. His head spun rapidly when he stood, causing him to stumble and hit his hip against the edge of his desk. Hissing in pain, Ren felt tears welling in his eyes. All of this pain, all of it brought back fragmented memories.

 _Bruises, burns, cuts, bites, scratches_

He could remember having injuries like these all over his body, and he could remember how badly it hurt. Moving slowly to the door, Ren opened it and peeked out to see his brothers still sitting in the living room. He tried to tell his mouth to call out to them, but fear had stuck itself in his mind. Instead, he slowly walked out of his room, Tanuki following, and began walking to the stairs, holding his nose.

"Ren?" Haru looked up at him, the first to noticed that he was coming back down the stairs. Ren tensed, freezing mid-step like an animal that had been spotted by a hunter. Blood was beginning to flow down his hand as he held his nose, small drops falling from his hand and wrist onto the stairs.

"Ren, get into the bathroom immediately so we can look at your nose." Shima ordered sternly, though his tone was soft. Haru stood up, holding a hand out to his little brother. They all stayed completely still for a long time before Ren very slowly walked down the stairs and toward his brothers. He did not take Haru's hand, he merely stood beside the shorter of the twin's. Shima and Haru exchanged a brief look before they walked toward the bathroom, being following by Ren and Aki.

Ren froze when they reached the bathroom and he saw his reflection in the mirror—for the first time since he'd been home. His nose appeared swollen, dark bruises spreading across his nose and near his eyes. He stared at himself for a moment, eyes wide as he gingerly touched the tender area around his nose.

"Ren, let me see." Haru said softly, reached out toward the boy. Ren turned toward Haru, tensing as he saw his eldest brother, reaching toward him, and smiling in an attempt to be comforting.

"No," Ren muttered, taking a small step back.

"Please, let me see it?" Haru tried again, reaching forward more to gently put his fingers under Ren's chin.

"No! No, no," Ren shouted, stumbling backwards until he tripped over his own feet. He landed hard on his backside, looking up at Haru. His whole body was shaking in fear, the pain in his nose and head forgotten as the pain was replaced by terror.

"Ren! Are you okay?" Haru gasped, kneeling down in front of his brother. Ren scooted further away until his back was firmly planted against Aki's legs. Tears ran down his face, his eyes big and afraid.

"Don't touch me, please," he whimpered. This was not the Ren that the Kaidou brothers knew. The Ren they knew would never back away from Haru, hell, he would never cry like this. He looked fragile, vulnerable. This was the first time that the three elder brothers had ever seen such a look of pure terror on anyone's—let alone Ren's—face.

Aki reached down and lifted Ren up, holding him in his arms bridal style. Ren tensed, looking up at Aki and still shaking. The shorter twin looked down into his brother's eyes, eyebrows knitted together.

"Tell us what's wrong." Aki said sternly, though he maintained a calmness in his voice and eyes. It surprised Shima and Haru that someone as short-tempered and rambunctious as Aki was acting in such a way toward the youngest. Ren tried to open his mouth to speak, but the words would not come out.

"Scared," he managed through tears, blood now dried on his face from his nose.

"Scared of what?" Shima asked, causing Ren to hide his face in Aki's shirt. They waited a long time before Ren spoke again, a somber silence falling over the room.

" _Don't let the man take me again_ ,"


	4. Happy Angel

Hi everyone! So, this is the longest chapter so far. It starts to delve into Ren's past, and a reason why he can't remember it! Enjoy!

-Katie

xXxXxXxXx

Haru sat in his bedroom, exhausted, and concerned. His bed was big and lonely, as Ren had decided to stay in his own room that night. He sat at the edge of the bed, staring down at the floor with his head in his hands, elbows resting atop his knees. His green eyes searched the wooden floor beneath his socked feet, as if searching for an answer.

' _Why will he not come to me? What did I do wrong? Ren…'_ Haru sighed, flopping backwards onto the bed, arms spread out to the sides. It was so quiet without Ren beside him. Normally, he could hear his precious brother breathing in his sleep, or they were talk quietly before going off to sleep. Right now, Haru felt incredibly alone, for the first time. A heaviness began to settle in the blonde's chest, he could feel the expression on his face relax to a point where he knew he appeared apathetic and unhappy.

Sighing heavily, Haru crawled further up on his bed and rest his head on what would have been Ren's pillow. It smelled faintly of his beloved brother, causing Haru to snuggle more into it. Sleep slowly tugged at his mind, though the apathy seemed to remain, even through his sleep.

xXxXxXxXx

Ren sat in the corner of his bedroom, again wedged between the desk and the wall. Tanuki was in his lap, sleep soundly against his favorite human's chest. Ren scrunched his nose slightly, feeling the bandages that Shima had put on him. He sighed, tired eyes looking down at his dog. Gently stroking Tanuki's soft fur, Ren leaned his head against the wall. He felt his eyes slowly close, his hand stopping to rest on Tanuki's side. Sleep overcame him, however briefly it may remain.

 _The room was dark, the only light coming from a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. Ren could see few things in the dingy room; a couch, a coffee table, a television. The couch appeared stained and had various holes in it, the coffee table was covered with garbage and an assortment of objects Ren was not familiar with, and the television was on a station that appeared to not work, as it was droning and only showing colored bars on the screen._

 _A light flicked on in another room, causing Ren to turn his head toward what he immediately realized was the kitchen. He walked over to the doorway, peeking around it with his hand on the doorframe. He noticed that his hands were much smaller than he knew they were supposed to be; he was a small child now._

 _In the kitchen, a woman stood at the counter. Her hair was long and dark brown, the same color as Ren's, though it was pulled back in a ratty looking braid, as if she had put it that way days ago, and had not washed it. Her hands were shaking as she worked with something on the counter, her body thin. Ren stepped forward into the kitchen, looking up at the woman._

" _Mother?" his voice was so small, he was not even sure if it had been verbalized. The woman stopped, turning her head to look at the boy. Her brown eyes appeared clouded, her expression that of a person who was not entirely 'there.' Ren took a step back, seeing the woman grin at him._

" _Ren, what have I told you about interrupting me?" she asked with a smile, walking toward the boy. Ren tried to speak but could not, as the woman grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him up to her eye level. He felt his body shaking, his shorts becoming damp in the front._

" _You're such a disgusting child. Go clean yourself." She hissed, her expression suddenly outraged. Ren felt his body be lifted higher, than thrown to the side, like garbage. His back hit the wall, tears welling in his eyes. He looked up, the woman—his mother—standing in front of him._

" _It's time for your medicine, my Happy Angel. Open your mouth," she demanded, reaching down and roughly grabbing Ren's chin. She opened his mouth and shoved two pills onto his tug; one white, and one brightly colored. She forced his mouth shut, holding it closed as he squirmed until he swallowed. After a moment, Ren went still, he felt his body start to feel strange. The woman smiled and petted his head._

" _Good boy." She said to him softly._

Ren jumped awake, scaring Tanuki enough to cause him to jump off his lap. Very weak sunlight was streaming into his bedroom, casting rays of light over the floor. Sweat dripped down Ren's face, his breaths coming quickly and shallowly. A knock at his door caused him to flinch, curling up more in the corner and resting his forehead on his knees.

"Ren?" Haru's tired voice called from beyond the door.

"Can we come in?" Shima's voice came next. Ren did not answer, but he listened as his three brothers opened the door and entered the room. Tension filled the space, Tanuki sitting protectively in front of his human.

"Ren, why are you on the floor? Come here," Shima sat on the bed, patting the spot beside him. Ren looked up slightly, his eyes red. He glanced over at Haru, who's green eyes were hard and unreadable. Fear began to settle inside of the huddled up boy, causing his body to tremble. Tanuki growled at Haru, standing in a defensive stance in front of Ren. Haru sighed and turned his back to Ren and Tanuki.

"I'm going downstairs." He said flatly, exiting the room.

' _No, Haru! Why… I'm sorry, Haru, come back…'_ Ren thought frantically. He shakily moved to stand up, slowly making his way to his feet just as Haru left the room. Ren looked down at the floor, his heart pounding in his chest, and his body shaking.

"Ren, can you please tell us what's wrong?" Aki asked, who had quietly been standing beside the door. Ren looked up at Aki, his eyes filled with sadness and exhaustion.

"Pills," Ren mumbled.

"Pills? What do you mean?" Shima sked. Ren shifted uncomfortably, looking at Aki and then at the door. Aki peered out the door, seeing Haru leaning against the railing by the stairs, arms crossed over his chest. Said boy looked over at his brother, able to see Aki from the doorway. The twin nodded toward the bedroom, signaling that Haru was needed. The blonde sighed, walking back over and entering the room, arms still crossed over his broad chest. Ren looked up at Haru, a small amount of hope in his brown eyes. Haru looked at him, then merely looked over at Shima.

"Well?" he asked.

"All he said was 'pills' and I don't know what that means." Shima said, adjusting his glasses. Ren looked at each of his brothers, choosing to maintain eye contact with Haru.

"What do you mean, Ren? You have to speak clearly." Haru told him, making Ren fidget slightly. Tanuki sat beside Ren's leg, leaning against him.

"I-I remember," Ren said very quietly, causing his brothers to have to lean closer to hear him.

"Remember what?" Shima asked softly.

"Pills. Two kinds," he replied, looking over at the twin sitting on his bed.

"What were they for?" Shima continued, eyes gently prodding.

"I-I don't know." Ren answered, his body telling him that panic was setting in. He felt like he needed to run, the anxiety clawing at his mind.

"What did they look like? Do you remember?" Aki asked this time. Ren looked up at Aki, and at Haru briefly. Haru's eyes had changed; they were no longer uninterested, but now they were concerned.

"White and one was bright colors, always different colors." Ren rambled, his voice coming out panicked and between shorter, more nervous breaths.

"Shh, it's okay." Haru said softly, walking toward Ren, and embracing him. Ren's head was firmly against Haru's chest, Haru's arms wrapped tightly around him.

"Haru," he said quietly, shaky arms reaching up to grip the taller boy's shirt.

"We aren't going to hurt you. You need to trust us." Haru said gently, earning soft agreements from Aki and Shima. Ren squeezed his eyes shut, hiding his face in Haru's chest, being careful of his nose.

"I dreamt about it. My mother, the pills." Ren started talking into Haru's shirt. "She used to give me medicine. Two pills, all the time." He finished, peeking over to the twins.

"Maybe we should figure out what pills these were. Maybe it'll help us understand," Shima offered, looking at each boy for approval. All of them agreed, including Ren.

xXxXxXxXx

Ren sat quietly on the porch, letting the sun warm his skin. His mind raced with remnants of the memory he'd dreamt about. He knew his brothers were attempting to figure out what medications he had been given as a small child, and he was trying to remember. He could hear his mother's voice in his head.

" _It's time for your medicine, my Happy Angel."_ Her voice echoed. Ren raked his brain, trying to figure out what it was he was taking that seemed to be inhibiting his memories. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind that caused him to jump up and run inside.

"What's up, Ren?" Aki asked, he was sitting at the kitchen table on his laptop.

"Happy Angel." He said simply.

"What?" Haru asked, walking over from the couch.

"She used to call me 'Happy Angel' whenever I got my medicine." He answered, looking at the ground. The anxiety was coming back, as it did every time he remembered something.

"Happy Angel… Wait, Aki, look up ecstasy," Haru demanded, heading over to the computer with Aki. Shima came over shortly after and watched the screen. Ren walked over, seeing images of colorful pills in many different shapes. His eyes widened and he felt his chest tighten.

"That's the colorful one." He confirmed. A tense silence befell the room as a realization became painfully clear.

Ren's mother was in fact a drug addict, and she used these drugs to sedate her child. In the back of his mind, Ren knew that it was simply because she did not want to deal with him. He remembers the abuse, in fragmented memories, and in the same way, he remembered the drugs.

"So, what was the white pill?" Shima asked. Aki and Haru exchanged a look, Aki's mouth pressed in a hard line.

"The only drug I can think of with 'angel' is angel dust; PCP." Haru answered softly, anger and hatred for Ren's mother building inside of him quickly. Aki quickly looked up the pill, and when Ren confirmed it was correct, it felt as if the entire room was about to explode with the anger building inside of Haru, Aki, and Shima.


	5. Promise

Ren sat outside on the porch, hugging his knees to his chest. His nose still throbbed occasionally, but the headaches were beginning to subside. He watched Tanuki sniff around the garden, playfully chasing bugs and small reptiles. The sun was warm on his skin, making his eyes half-close sleepily. In this moment, Ren felt relaxed. For the first time since his experience with that strange man, he felt serene. Allowing his eyes to completely close, Ren visualized his home in Canada. He tried to imagine what the dogs were doing, tried to picture the beautiful and vast forest he used to explore. Before long, Ren felt his body gently fall to the side, his hands moving to assist his tired body in laying down.

With legs hanging off the porch and body lying sideways, arm as a pillow, Ren felt his exhaustion overwhelm him and pull him into sleep.

xXxXxXxXx

Haru looked up from the laptop that he was angrily typing away at, sending email after email to his mother to ask her about Ren's past. He wanted to know, he _needed_ to know. As he looked up, he noticed his precious brother lying on the porch, Tanuki having come and lay beside his head. The rage inside of Haru subsided for a moment as a soft smile came to his handsome face.

"Looks like he finally gets to rest." Haru commented lightly, causing Shima who was sitting across from him to look up. Aki also glanced over from the couch, smiling, and nodding in approval before turning back to his television program.

"Let us hope that he does not have a nightmare again." Shima said halfheartedly, a sad smile on his face. Haru sighed, closing his laptop, and leaning his chin on his fist, watching Ren.

"How is he even alive right now?" Haru wondered aloud, earning no response. He watched as Ren shifted in his sleep, rolling over onto his stomach, face half buried in Tanuki's fur. He looked so peaceful, as if nothing had happened. He looked like a normal kid, napping outside after a long morning.

"Did you find anything else out about his parents?" Aki asked from the couch, turning to look at his brothers.

"According to Mikiko, his mother is deceased now. And no one is sure about his father." Haru responded flatly, his green eyes never leaving Ren. Aki stood up from the couch, turning the television off and walking over to the sliding door. Haru watched his younger brother, who was looking down at Ren.

"I still don't understand all of this. Why him? What did he ever do to deserve this pain?" Aki spoke quietly, his brown eyes sad and protective.

"That is a question that can never be answered. All we know now, is that he needs us. All of us." Shima said calmly, looking between his twin and elder brother. A silence fell over the boys before Haru stood up from his seat.

"It's just about lunch time, do you two want to cook with me?" he asked, stretching his arms over his head. The twins agreed, walking over to the kitchen with their blonde brother.

xXxXxXxXxXx

 _The room was dimly lit, the object beneath him soft to the touch but hard to lay on. Ren felt his head spin as he opened his eyes, tiny hands coming up to rub his face and head. He could hear sounds coming from a different room, though the door was closed. Ren sat up slowly, squinting against the darkness to attempt and make out his surroundings. He realized that he was laying on the cement floor, only a blanket between him and the cold concrete._

 _A small table was beside the door, two candles on top with their flames dancing and casting weak light about the room. There were no windows, but Ren could hear sounds that he assumed were from outside; birds, cars, people. Ren stood up, his legs wobbly as he tried to walk toward the door. When he got about half way across the room, Ren froze as he heard the doorknob turn. Fear seized him, and he was frozen in place as the door opened to reveal a man._

 _The man smiled upon seeing Ren, his face partially obscured by the limited light._

" _Hello there, Ren. What do you say we play a game?" the man asked, quietly walking in and closing the door behind him. Ren took a step back, his hands trembling._

" _No," he mumbled, looking up at the man that was moving toward him._

" _Just one game." The man said more harshly, reaching down and grabbing the child by his arms. Ren was lifted from the floor by his upper arms, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut in both pain and terror. The smell of alcohol and other disgusting substances wafted off the man, making Ren squirm. Suddenly enveloped by the stench, Ren felt something warm and wet come into contact with his mouth; he knew it was that man's lips. He remembered how disgusting they felt; too hot, chapped, wet. Disgusting._

xXxXxXxXx

Ren jerked awake, sitting up abruptly, and breathing heavily, sweat beaded on his forehead. He rubbed his face hard, ignoring the pain from his nose. Tanuki whimpered by his side, nudging his favorite human gently with his head. Ren lifted the dog up into his lap, hiding his face in the dog's thick fur.

Unconsciously, Ren began rocking back and forth, holding onto Tanuki and quietly talking to himself.

" _He's gone, he's gone. Not coming back, it's okay_." He mumbled into Tanuki's fur.

"Ren?" Haru called, sliding the door open. "Lunchtime," he said before glancing down at this youngest brother. Haru watched for a long, uncertain moment as Ren rocked, his body shaking. Aki and Shima joined Haru, looking down with concern for their brother. Haru walked closer to the cowering boy, reaching down and gently placing his hand atop Ren's head. Upon being touched, Ren's entire body went rigid; he was no longer moving, and no longer speaking.

"Ren, come inside." Haru said gently, carefully tousling his brother's hair. Ren looked up at Haru in the moment, and it was almost as if you could hear Haru's heart break. Ren's eyes were wide and frightened, tears welling in the corners. His cheeks were flushed, his nose swollen and beginning to bleed slightly through the bandages. Exhausted dark circles hung underneath Ren's eyes, his lips trembling ever so slightly.

"P-Please," Ren stuttered, tears slowing trailing down his cheeks. "D-Don't touch m-me," he begged—his voice merely a whimper that was so uncharacteristically Ren that the three older brothers had to stare at him for a long time. Aki slowly approached Haru and Ren, the blonde having taken his hand away. Ren turned his attention to Aki, his eyes filling with more tears, but also what seemed to be a small flicker of security.

"Would you like to come inside and eat? We made lunch." Aki's voice was the gentlest that Shima and Haru had ever heard. The elder boys exchanged a look, a very small smile on Haru's face as he appreciated the sweetness and concern Aki was showing for Ren. The younger boy shakily stood up, clutching Tanuki to his chest with one arm, and reaching for Aki's hand with the other. Ren's hand was shaking, so much so that if he had been holding something other than his dog, it would have fallen immediately. Aki lightly took Ren's hand, holding it was a calm firmness that stilled Ren's shaking.

"Let's go inside. We have a lot to talk about, if you're up to it, little brother." Shima said softly, offering Ren a reassuring smile.

"But only if you're okay with it. You don't have to worry, we're all here. None of us will ever let something bad happen to you." Haru said, his green eyes holding promise and genuine love for his brother. Ren looked at each of his brothers, eyes staying on Haru, though he continued to hold Aki's hand tightly.

"Promise?" the young brunette asked simply, his brown eyes appearing golden and childlike in the sun. Aki, Shima, and Haru responded together, giving Ren supportive smiles.

"Promise."

xXxXxXxXxXx

A/N:

Alrighty! So we get a little deeper into Ren's dislike of certain things (like being touched and whatnot), and see his severely introverted attitude come back into play (as he only says like 5 words)! The next chapter will have a lot more about Ren's past; including a possible explanation for his obsession with Aki as opposed to Haru! Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate all of you and I'm so glad you're continuing to read this story! Please continue to enjoy :)

-Kaite 3


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